We may be creatures of emotion, but
often that we forget that the basis of emotion is innate logic. No, that doesn’t mean that you were right
that the girl talking to your boy of the moment is truly a whore, but it does
point to something deeper. When we feel
jealousy, we are given a window into exactly what we actually want. Although other forces are pushing you toward
that perfect romance, being truly jealous (not just the fake kind that you say
to her) of your friend who has just gotten a cushy raise can tell you something
about what you really want. If you
really break down why you are jealous, you can discover exactly what is
important to you. We are born into a world that tells us
to want so much. From individual things
to lifelong pursuits in order to be happy, everyone is telling us to want
something. Advertisers are telling us
to buy now, universities are telling us to be deep thinkers, our employers tell
us to work hard, our parents tell us to find happiness, churches are telling us
to make God happy our friends our telling us to have fun. In all of this noise can it really be
possible for us to know exactly what it is that we want. Jealousy is like an alarm going off inside of
us, telling us to stop and look that there is something you really want.
So why then is jealousy such a
problem? Simple, it is how we react to it.
Because it is such a private emotion, for the most part no one has ever
taught us how to properly deal with it.
In our own frustration of what to do with this strange emotion, we
become angry and often attack. Who do we
attack? Often the very person we are jealous of, to rip them apart and take
away what they have in order to feel better about the fact that we ourselves
have not achieved it.
This poses a bigger problem, because
we have taken a person we have seen achieve our goal often coming from the same
place we have, and we have turned them into an enemy. What we should be doing instead is turning them
into a mentor and to learn from their tricks to get what we want. There are tricks to every trade, and odds are
in addition to hard work, your friend has used them. Studying how they did something can help you
achieve it also.
Instead of taking a moment to
attack, we should be taking a moment to change our own course, to recognize
what we want, and to become our own greatest accomplishment. We are all capable of achieving what we want
out of life; we just have to recognize that we want it enough to go after
it. After all, if you don’t want it
enough to go after it, did you really even want it at all?
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