“Do you believe in love at first
sight?” It seems such a simple question
on first sight, but as soon as my friend posted it, she saw a flood of
emotional responses fighting for possibilities and defending the honor of loves
past and current. However, as we all
debated we realized one profound truth that we all forgotten in the simple
question. That love, itself, is not
simple, love is complex. Love is not a
black or white fact, but a flexible emotion that we feel. We cannot know if someone loves the way we
can see if someone blinks, instead we must sense it the way we sense if someone
breaths, we must assume by the warmth in the air and the signs of their motions
to know if someone is breathing. There
are also different types of love we can feel and different levels and stages of
love with in those types.
Before I begin, I must pause to note
that I am not talking about lust. Although
lust and love are similar and can be often confused, as they both are based in
a combination of passion and desire, lust is a completely different emotion
based upon innate animal instincts with the intention of continuously populating
the earth. We also must recognize that love is not something we can judge about other people. We do not know how someone else feels love, and it is not possible for us to truly know. All we know is what we feel ourselves.
Love is an emotion based upon
caring about someone or something else.
Therefore, like any other emotion, it can felt in a second. Like anger, joy, and sadness, your emotion
can change in a moment. Of course, like
all emotions, the more bases and more time put into developing that emotion,
the longer it is felt. You may feel love
for something in a moment and immediately stop moments later because you don’t put
the time into developing that emotion, or you realize that your original
emotion was unfound. It happens all the
time with the emotion of fear, one moment we are shocked into fear, only to
realize moments later that we had nothing to be afraid of. We react to love in just the same way.
Obviously, there are certain types
of love that cannot be gained in an instant.
Although all types of love can come over time, storge love is they type
of love that comes from slowly develops from friendship. By the very definition, storge cannot be
found in an instant. Euros, on the other
hand, are based upon aesthetic enjoyment and can easily be felt the moment you
notice something. Ludus, which is love
played like a game of chess, is entered into the moment the players start to
play the game.
The key to love as most wish to
experience it is in the recognition that love is an emotion that must be
nurtured. You may have had that initial
feeling of care towards that other person, but you must develop it more in
order to make it last over the years in the form of friendship, romantic
relationship, or any other form.
Sources:
Love it really just a form of strong friendship in relationships. Most psychologists and authors have explained that the lust we feel (which we equate to love) no longer exists after about a year and a half with someone. Then you have to learn to be "friends" and accept that friendship where you will fall in and out of "love" over the years.
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